Bad Habit

This bad little habit of mine
Possessed me since I was nine
For months I suffered from the thirst
Then finally I committed a crime
No it was not the murder or homicide of some kind
Just a bad habit of lying by telling the truth … No I didn’t have much time

Oh this tricky habit of mine
Always kicks me out from my life
For decades I suffered from the pain
Then I finally forced my self to decide no I did not punished my self and cry
Just a bad habit of keeping secrets all the time

What’s wrong with the hidden truth?
I thought it was quite an art ….
My trophies of lies and secret …
A camouflage of my confusion and heart…
How pathetic are you?
Don’t you have any dirty little secrets?
Tell me where do you hide??

Well this awe , pitiful habit of mine
Deep down I know how they shine ..
All those encounter with real me
Makes me believe, that was a mistake of mine …
Oh dearest habit of mine ….
Won’t you let me go … I think its time.
Leave me with my mess its mine..
Before I commit so heneous crime
Because when I stop following you …. I’ll know i’ll sleep in time …

Dear moody habit of mine you fluctuates temperature of my mind

Mind Escape

I borrowed the sorrow from the book of horror …. Which has a chapter yet to come …. “A tomorrow”
Ready to dismiss my demons that betrayed me, goodness I do not see.
Patience I could not be ….

I repent, disabilities that my conscious paint, half of me insane, another half saint…
Previously, precious me declared the war against the world,
All those visions I see, just blurred
Uncharted territory of my mind needed to be explored..
Only if I could find a door, to the shore, I would make a boat and sail to the horizon….. Where pain will be no more.

Loneliness which is the key, suicidal thoughts, soul is the fee .
Peace there is none, thought’s heavy, hopes are gone …
Tonight’s the night, tomorrow is the day I die, medicated, injected, several drugs from the store, not even one is sophisticated enough … Suggest me some more …

Filed a complaint, this soul of mine is getting old, confession there is a lot…
Motivation there is none, instead of inspiration, purification , I was locked inside the walls of asylum for several years or more ….
Terrors of the dark for sure …
Heaven knows, I prayed, heaven knows I cried, hell even lord took me by surprise…
Blessed me with mortality, he quote… “You shall not die” …