Bad Habit

This bad little habit of mine
Possessed me since I was nine
For months I suffered from the thirst
Then finally I committed a crime
No it was not the murder or homicide of some kind
Just a bad habit of lying by telling the truth … No I didn’t have much time

Oh this tricky habit of mine
Always kicks me out from my life
For decades I suffered from the pain
Then I finally forced my self to decide no I did not punished my self and cry
Just a bad habit of keeping secrets all the time

What’s wrong with the hidden truth?
I thought it was quite an art ….
My trophies of lies and secret …
A camouflage of my confusion and heart…
How pathetic are you?
Don’t you have any dirty little secrets?
Tell me where do you hide??

Well this awe , pitiful habit of mine
Deep down I know how they shine ..
All those encounter with real me
Makes me believe, that was a mistake of mine …
Oh dearest habit of mine ….
Won’t you let me go … I think its time.
Leave me with my mess its mine..
Before I commit so heneous crime
Because when I stop following you …. I’ll know i’ll sleep in time …

Dear moody habit of mine you fluctuates temperature of my mind

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Mind Escape

 
I borrowed the sorrow from the book of horror …. Which has a chapter yet to come …. “A tomorrow”
Ready to dismiss my demons that betrayed me, goodness I do not see.
Patience I could not be ….

I repent, disabilities that my conscious paint, half of me insane, another half saint…
Previously, precious me declared the war against the world,
All those visions I see, just blurred
Uncharted territory of my mind needed to be explored..
Only if I could find a door, to the shore, I would make a boat and sail to the horizon….. Where pain will be no more.

Loneliness which is the key, suicidal thoughts, soul is the fee .
Peace there is none, thought’s heavy, hopes are gone …
Tonight’s the night, tomorrow is the day I die, medicated, injected, several drugs from the store, not even one is sophisticated enough … Suggest me some more …

Filed a complaint, this soul of mine is getting old, confession there is a lot…
Motivation there is none, instead of inspiration, purification , I was locked inside the walls of asylum for several years or more ….
Terrors of the dark for sure …
Heaven knows, I prayed, heaven knows I cried, hell even lord took me by surprise…
Blessed me with mortality, he quote… “You shall not die” …

-Darsapoetry

Graveyard of lonely sins

Irrational operations of my heart 

Ongoing investigation in my mind 

I am already lost in this filthy world 

Gathering time to find my kind 

Foreign pain came to haunt me down

In the midst of the graveyard I was found 

I laid my body so, I could dream of you 

My patience falling apart, I don’t hear your sound 

I tired so hard to escape this twisted feel 

But darkness sure have some amazing skills 

I broke down but,  still I avoid 

I am just not welcome in this empty void 

Yet, I look for your sparkling eyes, 

So, I could hide 

But you left me with no choice 

How I ignored the wisdom advice 

Now, I wish for a bright blue sky

But I was eternally burned how I’m I supposed to fly …
These painted sins over the walls 

Now they are calling me to witness my fall 

Who is that exists with me ? 

I am caving in , these walls are growing tall 

Like a Angel who don’t wear their wings 

And the whispers that makes me swing 

But now I am praying for one more chance 

Just to catch you with another glance how well I learned to starve my sins

Visions blurry yet, my imagination is clean …

I am so deeply lost within… 

How beautiful the dark can be ??

Waited enough to see through it …

But there is nothing wrong with me 

You touched me, I am cursed … 

Not a soul to witness me ..

Bathory (part-ii)

bathory

Bathory part 2

It was wrong to visit her place again 

I wish I would’ve never come here

But it can’t be done

She can’t be ignored that easily

She haunts every bit of my ecstasy

And she saw me yes, she did

My presence in her blooded chamber 

It’s the thing that she forbids

Back then under those twinkling and glittering stars

One thing I wished for and still I’m not truly sure

I felt a nightmare coming

I don’t want to sleep tonight

The night purposed me with colors

The thing it lacked the most

Blessed me with bleeding curse

That came with the cost

I felt a reflex, of pulling my hand from a flame

Even being the greatest murderess

No, she can’t be blamed

Saddest part is that she was the beauty and forever its slave

Her entire mesmerized hair got ashamed

I’ve miraculously fallen in love with a corpse

My soul was coming back to life

That kept decaying inside

And slowly the bitterness of love turned to sour

Sour turned to sweet

And despite of all my efforts

I finally yield and fallen to my knees.

unholy encounter

Her eyes silenced my demons in very first sight .

An unholy encounter of darkness and light 

The look in her eyes, those insolence charm hidden behind her innocent face 

Made me realize ,that we both 

Got stupid dreams

Dreams that can be injurious inside 

And my thoughts started to fight 

How I stared at your face 

Hallucinating within, my mind 

She politely asked me to move aside 

Oh ! Those words of wisdom 

She became the guide to my life 

My weary arms were so eager to grab her tight 

But yet I stayed in dark cause I was scared of the light

She smiled looking at me..

Playing with my mind ..

She accidentally committed a crime 

But how she can be blamed ..

My demons already crossed the line 

Then she ignored me just a little 

Why in world this has to happen 

I felt I was born to live brittle 

So brittle that her charm could break me and my heart ❤

And then she touched , oh ! The way she touched 

I quietly felt my sorrows fading away far away from me … As I watched .

She said you don’t deserve this way 

Again she played with my mind 

Though this truth was bitter, it was already a gloomy day 

So thick and dense forest it was 

And the words runs so deep in my veins 

Now it rained it rained so hard 

She unintentionally disbanded my chains 

Then she grabbed me so gently 

Yet it generated numerous amount of pain 

How can I stay calm her love already drove me Insane 

Those line on her face the way they resembles her story 

As I tried to read her eyes, my heard started worry 

She ran her fingers through my hair 

She played with them for a while 

Then she grabbed it so tight 

And exposed me to her light 

I seek for a place to hide, but the time betrayed me …

I exploded into her eyes …

How I cried , how she wiped those tears 

No disguise could be so pure 

Where was she hiding all those years 

I asked my self to defend my soul .

A dangerous mistake was done

It was not there and she had already be gone ….

Inside my grave, darkness so deep 

I was awake but she  offered me eternal sleep

How she lied , how I died ….

Here lies the victim, there goes the criminal committing another crime …

 

​Polluted  poetry(ambiguous farewell)


Stayed awake till the morning 

Just to see her one more time

Faded away in her thoughts

My mind committed suicide 

Sad story behind this silence 

How I Waited to love her eternally 

And How my patience was ignored.

Still can’t believe it’s true 

And it started to spread like venom and flu 

Then my poem got polluted 

Yet , no clue 
Her smell on my mind 

The Hypnotism of her lies 

Been consumed by her charm

My soul locked inside her eyes 

Oh! End come soon and set me free 

Polluted poetry and a tearful plea 

How the heart can hurt 

Your love mixed in my blood

And this silence growing with agony 

Even the moon became my enemy 

And the sky started to cry 

Rain passes by 

Pouring my polluted poetry

Giving an ambiguous goodbye 

My life so unnatural

Leaving me with my memories

That’s how my demons betrayed me

Emptiness surrounds me 

I am the victim of your crime 

Sin after sin you committed 

I was the slave to your smile 

How the smoke gathered up above in the horizon 

Vanishing from earthly pleasures

An artistic view in pain 

My words your game 

My POETRY in chains 

Release me enslave me 

Oh! end come and set me free 

Polluted poetry and tearful plea 

She can’t be Described

Truth in her lies

Pain in her eyes

My conscious faded

There is no place to hide

She came like “June “

Drew poetry from my lips

My heart melted

Unpredicted was the kiss

Roses she loved

With thrones she was covered

My memories burning

A “reality discovered”

In darkness she lived

Those lines on her face

My words unspoken

It’s hard to clean up the mess

Unforgiven and suffered

Her body kept turning in grave

My dreams betrayed me

Hallowed be thy name

Save

BATHORY 

bathory

Long long time ago

The day when the times were wrong

Winter with no shadow of sun

No light would impale the mist

Harsh tale of misunderstood gist

A story I heard about’ her

My thoughts started to crown her

Sometimes in darker days and moonless night

Where she allegedly committed

So heinous crimes

It’s hard to even talk about

“Most prolific murderess of all time “

Tortured so many girls and hanged

Their ghost dangles from the branch

Not such a dearly place to live

“A place where the sun scarcely ever shines”

Those blue sapphire eyes

Spellbinding beautiful skin

I was flummoxed in her presence

All her smell were for my amusement

Her entire fortune of beauty up for an auction

I hesitated to stand before her

For fear that she would read my thoughts

I strangled my emotions

But it came out emotionally

Her cheeks grown flushed

Shy and trembling

Through the corner of her lucid eyes

One thing kept resembling

The perceptive thoughts of mine

Stepped out of my mind

Longing for salvation

They carried so much burden

That they could infect your heart

That disease have no cure

It would tear you apart

(part-1)

 to be continued…

Save

Melodic chaos 

​ 

I reckoned the same feeling today 
It was just a flash back 

Now I feel I’m complete 

But I know what I lack 

Waited to witness miracle

Like progression of chords 

The melodic chaos in distance 

Where the poet seeks the word 

Then the rythem of heartbeat 

Grew so loud 

All those stories of struggle 

Became the face in the crowd