Never satisfying enoughness

Late night lying numb on my bed

And the feeling rushing through my veins 

The echoes of darkness ringing in my head 

Going through each and every dimensions of my life 

The broken vows and mistakes that I made 

Deliver me from this place 

My heart says 

Guilty as charged 

All the melodies of past pouring like the rain 

Memories at stake like a blade at the edge of a blade

Everything seems like a dream no sign of heart pumping and lungs breathing 

I simply ignore and avoid the life of mine 

Which accidentally can’t be fine 

What is happiness now I fell ,I think I am not even sure 

Nothing is sophisticated yet 

Even though enough was never satisfying before 

                                                                                                                                   ∏darkness within‡ 

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THE WARRIOR’s revenge 

​”5 years of pain 

15 years of suffering 

20 year old privilege 

And you think you know something about hatred ?? ”
I can‘t let you live your life in awaiting forgiveness 

Cause my vengeance is so loud 

Even if you try to confess the sins that shines through your skin 

I will still watch you fall to the ground 

I will hear the words that comes out of your throat 

And I will pretend that I feel you somehow 

And laugh with the agony inside of my heart 

slow and barbaric death of yours would satisfy me 

Forgive you ?? Nah it would only purify me

Even if you are forgiven by lord 

Your death would remind him of the mistake that he did before 

And never let his pride pushed through his faith again 
The things you did to me left the scar on my soul 

The cursed disease that you spread inside me 

Became my cure 

And iam now dancing in darkness 

Raising a tost to your defeat 

Won’t you forgive me 

Consider it done ,  I want to hear it from you 

See through my eyes the life of BETRAYAL

Don’t  you pity me ? 
Now I had raised the sails…

Straight to horizon to the garden of dream

And I can still hear you scream 

Save your strength , the struggle is worthless 

When the vengeance is too loud 

The heartbeats fades away slowly 

So let go of your pride 

Turn the page it’s the end of the story ……

The hell awaits 

Walk into the wild 


Now I walkWalk into the wild
Leaving every mistakes of past behind….I now feel alive …

Here I am walking with hope …

Believing everything will turn to gold.

 How I can be the same when every single little happiness ruins my faith.

Now i’ll be there with no plans. ..

It’s true I did nothing when I had a chance …

So I walk …Walk  Into the wild …

I know it will change sooner or later

I sink while my demons swims.  

The emptiness inside my head no one tries to dwell …

I believe ocean cries at night. .

So they walk with me tonight.

Fearless I am trying to be

Brave I was ….

All those laughter  that I shared 

And the prayers that I prayed ….

I felt something needs to change …

So here I am trying to change 

Tired enough ….. 

Can’t fight this feeling anymore ..

I see nature by my side …

So I walk …Walk into the wild….
I heard rumours …. Earth is dying…

We are killing her …

So I stopped once and looked back …

I was a killer too 

I tried to confess …. Nature did violence too …

So we are even …

Now she will walk with me soon …

In the amusement of my fantasy world …. 

The roar of the lions and birds ….

May be there is no light at the end of tunnel …. 

And leap of hopes keep dying 

But now I walk ….And there’s a silver lining …..

So again walking into the wild ..

Nemesis



Look up into the night sky 

Oh! What a beautiful sight 
Darkness covers his territory

And lights began to hide
Then portrait of the moon

come fading all the stars 
The wind start to move 

And armies began to march
He start to curse every angel who has fallen down

And crucifix every men who fits in his crown 
Beyond all the stories , theres truth that we seek

No the faith and hope, they just makes you weak
Then I heard a loud growling or it was my mind making sound 

And in that tearful silence i fainted unto the ground 
Keep thy kingdom , its a never ending nightmare 

And cast me out already for that Iam aware 
The glory of the virtue , is the poison that we breathe 

The weight of your own soul is a the victim of a myth 
dark nemesis, thoughts are bulky as the earth 

But I’ll come around in circle for that Iam made of dirt 
The pain keeps passing through the hole of my nerve 

Dark nemesis, keeps me going

And it hurts me when Iam loved …

Suicide in the silence

 

My eyes are colliding

Feets are shaking

Heart is exploding

I am going numb by the sound that they are making

I am just a voice inside my head

I dare to leave this place

It’s so disgusting in here

But I am getting used to this mess
I cover my self under Azure sky

I am no sinner but I am punished , I did no crime

Iam tormented ,wished someone would witness me

So they could see

My fears , through my tears

That I shed

I am nothing but a shadow inside this large empty room

I won’t be long for soon

As I see the bleeding moon

After the afternoon

I feel nothing but my exit wound
I hide when the truths starts to lie,It makes me paralysed

Still I don’t want to die

But being friendly I drowned with this violence

And finally committed suicide in this silence …

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​THE EXORCISM THERAPY

 

Her face in my mind 

A recurring dream of some kind 

Yet I ended up kissing her cold mirror

That holds the beauty inside 

The ugliest parts of her turns out to form a horrific image 

How I drowned in her fragments of fantasy 

The only thing I regret 

Her fountain of lolicon mountain 

to the edge I walked 

The turning graves under the ground 

As I walk into that filth of haze 

Nearly visible of everything they own 

She crawled like a child towards me 

Took me somewhere so none can follow 

Then in the blaze of fire I stand 

And prayed within that maze of hollow 

The mistake I did was to look in her eyes again 

As she was the queen of snow her body just covered in her skin that she lives in 

Awful scenario of her naked truth of lies 

When she began to seduce me by playing her erected nipples and body parts

The only thing I was into was her constant lart 

When she summoned her dying prophet 

His prophetic words started to run through me 

And throughout the exorcism of my baleful dilemma 

I was rescued by her distracting plagues 
She began to crawl in my neck 

With the little scratches I bleed

She kissed my melting skin

And pressed my knolb of bones 

As she began to skin me alive 

And fuck me with her faith of 

Stones 

My whole body was begging with mourns 

And shall I let you go she said Under the bleeding moon 

She tattooed her love with flames in my chest 

And I found myself laying naked in my deathbed 

I never happend to notice the time that I spend in her dreams of mine 

The sorrow that I felt was gone 

She still purifies me in the wasteful night in my messy mind 

 

Getting rid of you 


In
the process of getting rid of you ..
I was done hiding you in my poetry 

But my dreams accidentally exposed your cruelty 

I was abandoned by my thoughts

Though I was curious towards your sanity 

Well there’s something left inside of me , may be a little humanity 

iam just a silent observer

and Iam done being victim of insanity 

       

Well you have no idea how sophisticated is my tragedy

If you could see behind these eyes , you would call me your majesty

I wonder in my dreams,How to get rid of your face ,Well I must say I hadn’t forgotten you completely 

It must be a mistake , it would be , if I just don’t feel

Well I am just flesh and bones and this wound takes time to heal 
Regardless of my effort 

I couldn’t do it alone, would you help me to cure from this disease 

There’s no light left and iam getting used to this dark 

Let me ask you , that killing You would satisfy me, 

Is it too much to ask?

TURNING THE PAGE

Away from the sky
Beyond those tearful eyes
I feel for myself
In your burning disguise
Like a forest with echoes around
You came crawling under the ground …..

In the rain , in the emptiness and silence
The sound that they makes
Like a betrayed violence

-“the devil is you” –

In the broken old piano she keeps weeping
Through my thoughts I Watched her sleeping
With her memories my heart skips beating

-“You did that to her”-
Open your eyes had enough of this loneliness
Let me take you away from this suicidal place
I won’t be for so long..
It’s a mystery where I am from ….

-“I guess she already know”-

Mistakes breaks your hope
No faith can ever make it up to you

-“Stop this betrayal to life”-
When you keep struggling in haze
And realize that there is no escape from this maze

-“observe her tormented soul,like a portrait on the wall”-

The regret of losing her
It’s a mess you’ve already made
Chase as fast as you can
“Indeed you are already late”
Last but not the least just stop turning the page ….

-“finally the sun will melt,  die before you kill yourself “-