Never satisfying enoughness

Late night lying numb on my bed

And the feeling rushing through my veins 

The echoes of darkness ringing in my head 

Going through each and every dimensions of my life 

The broken vows and mistakes that I made 

Deliver me from this place 

My heart says 

Guilty as charged 

All the melodies of past pouring like the rain 

Memories at stake like a blade at the edge of a blade

Everything seems like a dream no sign of heart pumping and lungs breathing 

I simply ignore and avoid the life of mine 

Which accidentally can’t be fine 

What is happiness now I fell ,I think I am not even sure 

Nothing is sophisticated yet 

Even though enough was never satisfying before 

                                                                                                                                   ∏darkness within‡ 

Save

Advertisements

Melodic chaos

​ 

I reckoned the same feeling today 
It was just a flash back 

Now I feel I’m complete 

But I know what I lack 

Waited to witness miracle

Like progression of chords 

The melodic chaos in distance 

Where the poet seeks the word 

Then the rythem of heartbeat 

Grew so loud 

All those stories of struggle 

Became the face in the crowd 

WORST CASE SCENARIO

I wish I was your worst nightmare ,So you could actually remember to avoid 
I wish you were my fascinating dream ,Which can easily fill the void 

I wish I was your eco in large empty room, So you must hear me without seeking second choice 

I wish you were my words ,In which I can totally rejoice 

I wish I was your unplanned trip ,So you could accidentally come and visit 

I wish you were my favorite spot ,Which I can hardly resist 

I wish I was your hypothetical thought, Which has no proof of its existence 

I wish you were my theory of everything So I could be at your assistance

Quote

Sometimes,  iam terrified of my heart

By the sound it makes

Leaving a sudden death 

Like a mysterious child 

With an “awful taste”

Her absolute absence

I was never prepared for your absence Whenever you said goodbye , but eventually you came back with your smile ,You went towards the light and I’m buried in this darkness 
I felt blessed then, I feel cursed now

I will remember you for centuries

Now I’m grieving in your memories 

The falsely truth of erroneous presence of silence 

Why should I accept your death , 

Will I ever see you smiling again?

Why there is the concrete wall between us now 

You can’t reach me and this silence is growing loud 

There is no space for dreams in my head its full of incurable fear  

My Morning begins with misery

My Days come in chaos

The Weekends ends in disaster

And Happiness turns into ruins 

I feel your absence but I feel your presence too , I woke up today saw the empty space beside me , but I still want you to remind me , that you are gone 

Where do I look for you  ? Are you inside of me?

/////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

“Something about her“

///////////////////////////////////////////////////

I never dreamed her mysterious lies 

But she would trick me and hide 

While walking she used to stop and stare 

The look in her eyes I found it rare 

Even I never possessed the power to love her 

Her hypnotic behavior made me give her comfort and care 

I still wonder , I write about her smile and her beautiful scruffy hair 

Nowadays she haunts my dream at night 

No, not the nightmares she plans to give me 

But wants me to be by her side

Well here I plan to miss her tonight 

There’s something I would like to ask her 

“Hey can you read the questions reflecting through my eyes ?”

May be she would answer me instantly 

But I want to hear her words , gently

She didn’t talked much , but it was enough for me to satisfy

I miss her less vulnerable weakness 

So I peel my skin to release the disease 

That keeps growing along with me 

But through the exit wound only the darkness I can see

Well Yesterday’s tragedy becomes regrets of tomorrow 

There’s something left alive in your memories, that I would like to borrow 

Till then let me learn to live with this sorrow

                       -“needed to be loved again “

THE WARRIOR’s revenge

​”5 years of pain 

15 years of suffering 

20 year old privilege 

And you think you know something about hatred ?? ”
I can‘t let you live your life in awaiting forgiveness 

Cause my vengeance is so loud 

Even if you try to confess the sins that shines through your skin 

I will still watch you fall to the ground 

I will hear the words that comes out of your throat 

And I will pretend that I feel you somehow 

And laugh with the agony inside of my heart 

slow and barbaric death of yours would satisfy me 

Forgive you ?? Nah it would only purify me

Even if you are forgiven by lord 

Your death would remind him of the mistake that he did before 

And never let his pride pushed through his faith again 
The things you did to me left the scar on my soul 

The cursed disease that you spread inside me 

Became my cure 

And iam now dancing in darkness 

Raising a tost to your defeat 

Won’t you forgive me 

Consider it done ,  I want to hear it from you 

See through my eyes the life of BETRAYAL

Don’t  you pity me ? 
Now I had raised the sails…

Straight to horizon to the garden of dream

And I can still hear you scream 

Save your strength , the struggle is worthless 

When the vengeance is too loud 

The heartbeats fades away slowly 

So let go of your pride 

Turn the page it’s the end of the story ……

The hell awaits 

POETRY OF LUST

​

I reckoned the wistful eyes of nameless faces 

It was like the vivid blue sky 

I thought they were from harmless places

I actually thought they could fly 
Mysterious world filled with poetry of lust

Nobody likes to face the truth

Tempted by the sweet small fruit 

How can we be lost …

We were never really in a right path 

So whom shall we call 

To begin or end this Start
Twisted lies no matter how hard we try to hide 

Time will avenge us indeed it will find 

Like the light of a golden sun 

Melting like a helpless candle 

The weight of the world which gravity cannot hold alone 

All the creatures they vanish in thin air 

Like a old man resting in the chair

Waiting for death to arrive 

Yet we are seeking for someone who could bargain for us or even bribe 
A whisper in a cold dark night make us strong giving an advice

It mess with us saying unholy words like a whore in a bed trying to confess to the world 
That’s it  …it’s just a poetry of lust 

Not lost but no one’s ever find 

GROTESQUE

​

They Ailed my heart with hammer and nails
I slept quietly under the abhorinng pain

The extremist desire within me hails and melt

Now slowly I began to escape the torture 

Through unholy rituals with priest and chains

And I accepted it as my fate

Like it was my unacceptable culture 

When they started to cut me limb from limb 

That’s where I went mean 

Though I was getting used to it 

I accidentally felt my skin

It was warm,cold was I 

I realised life is a lie 

Then I calmly closed my eyes 

Cos I already paid the price

CRAZY DOG

 Faces in the forest 

 ghosts in the fog 

 she hawls at moon 

 like a crazy dog 
 In the dark scary night

 She walks in the streets 

 But in the day time

 She lives in my dream 
 Colours in the painting 

 Your love and your hug 

 Let me cry a river 

 Like a crazy dog 

Cold winter

​

Self created …

In the dark night of winter 
A heart frozen with cold 

A tale of the darkness barely told 

I cut myself to see that I am alive 

For that Iam misguided by bile 

Loneliness starts to starve within me 

Concrete Walls through I can barely see 

A gleam of light impaling the mist

Came shaking through the clouds

The the sound of silence that used to bound me 

Accidentally grew loud 

 
I saw the bloody moon drowning on it’s own blood 

And the shadow of my mind recreated another world 

A black winter it was so cold and mourn 

A debt that was left to be paid 

Exiled me from my grave 

Then I realized the tragedy that I suffered 

Struggled for my salvation 

The event that never occurred